Guiding Our Boys to Become Men ~ the hard stuff

Yesterday I posted about rising to manhood, for our teenage boys. 

If they are teenagers, we’ve already gotten them this far – and they’re still alive   Giggle.  I’m teasing, I’ve enjoyed every season of my kids’ lives but this part is all unchartered territory for Mr. H and I.  We were talking yesterday about teenagers and how hard it is to let them go – and to defer to Dad as he begins to draw out the man in them.  As Mr. H and I have sought Godly counsel from wise parents, one book keeps coming up in conversation; Preparing for Adolescense by Dr. Dobson.  We’re reading it thru now.

As I said, my instructors had a lot to say about this topic and it really got me to thinking.  One of the things I spoke to my Titus Mentor about was video games.  When our kids were smaller, we weren’t as wise as we are today   and neither of us were Christians.  We allowed our children to play video games.  Now we are dealing with the consequenses of that deceision.  We had no idea that they could be so addicting or that there was so much junk out there – that our kids would later be exposed to!  It’s a lot easier to control when they are 10.  When they are 15, not so much.  Now their older cousins are playing games that make Mr. H and I gasp in horror!  They have friends whose parents don’t monitor what they watch or play and our kids aren’t allowed to engage in those games. Where does this leave our kids?  Well it leaves them with a decision about how they’ll handle this situation when it arises.

It’s a constant temptation that they’ll be faced with, in some form or another, all of their lives.  We’re at a place where we can no longer control their choices because they are no longer with us all the time.  Booker has a friend who plays these older X-box games.  Booker admitted to us (we’re grateful for open communication) that he really liked the look of the X-Box games and in fact, that he was starting to think about those games even when he got home; about when he could play next.  One of the games has a tavern that the character can go into and there are very scarecly dressed women dancing on the tables in that tavern.  Booker came to us and told us about this (again, AMEN that he came to talk to us).  We had a long discussion about this. We talked about how these games are a step up from the silly games where you jump boulders and race cars.  Does he really want to take that step?  We talked about how they are designed to addict and draw kids and we talked about how he had already shared with us that he has been affected in this way.  We talked about the importance of what goes into his heart and mind and how this can jeoprodize his purity.  It was a good talk between Mr. H, Booker and I. 

Now our heart wants to outright ban these things!  We want to jump up and down and scream and yell that this is awful, stay away from it!!!!  Especially as a Mama, I desperately want to guard his heart and there is nothing wrong with this – it’s a Biblical principal.  I really had to defer to Dad here because he has the thoughts of a man, he understands the seriousness of it all in a way I (as a woman) can not.  But…but…but he is not a Christian and he might not make this decision based on godliness!  I can not tell you how much prayer has gone into this topic because I have to trust God with Booker.  When we ask our mentors what to do about this, they ask “How long do you intend to control everything he does and to make these choices for him? When do you intend to stop?”  No beating around the bush, that got right to the core of the issue! 

Do we trust God or not? 

We have raised a fine young man to this point, we’ve given him good strong examples by what we watch and allow into our hearts.  Eventually he’ll be on his own.  Wouldn’t we rather give him wisdom and support him in prayer – allow him to make small mistakes while he’s under our authority so that he has a little life experience when the opportunity to make bigger mistakes arises? He’ll know we love him no matter what.  He’ll know he can lean on God.  I guess this could be a controvercial question.  Our mentors suggested we find books to read, statistics to back up our views and obtain all of the information we could find…then talk to our boys. Pray.

Did I mention PRAY?

Then what????? we ask with bated breath?!  We have to believe for this…   

Back to the question, do we trust God or not?  He loves Booker more than we do.  His purpose and plan for Booker never change, not from the first time God thought of him.  We have found some great resources and we are in the middle of reading through some of this stuff and preparing to present it to our boys.  I know that this is an important step and how we go about doing this will have a huge impact.  Because of this, we’re taking the time and putting prayerful consideration into this.  When the time comes, I will work on being quiet and allowing my beloved husband to use this as an opportunity to rise up – to draw out the men in Booker and Monkey…and God will use this in Mr. H’s salvation journey!

….all of this if I can keep my eyes on Christ! And trust.

If you’d join us in prayer for this, we’d appreciate that! 

In Him…

***You might notice that I say “WE” are prayerfully considering.  You know that Mr. H is not saved. WHY THEN do I say WE? I believe for his salvation (1 Peter 3:1-3)… in a God that brings life from death and speaks of that which is not (yet) as though they were because I have hope and faith in a God that is big enough to keep His promises to me (Romans 4:17-18 ).

 

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